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sarahabein.bsky.social · @sarahabein.bsky.social@bridge.neodb.net

Rated Cleavage: Men, Women, and the Space Between Us 7/10

<div>First things first — Yes, this cover and title make you think this is going to be a social sciences kind of book. It's not. It's a memoir in essays — which is also fine, but I do wonder how everyone involved in this came to the decision to package it this way. The jacket copy makes the contents somewhat more clear, at least.<br><br>I was not previous familiar with Boylan, though apparently she's been out there doing her thing for years, under her current name and as the previous version of herself. She uses her deadname a lot in some of these essays, so trans people may feel a certain way about that. I am not trans, so I cannot speak to how trans people might like this book in general, but I will say this — She's a trans elder who came out later in life, and even if her journey and way of speaking about it is not necessarily the language younger people use today, it's still important to document the experiences of trans people at ALL stages of life.<br><br>Another interesting thing is the reveal that Boylan's adult daughter is also trans, and her daughter struggled a bit with having a memoirist parent during childhood. She says that she felt a certain pressure to conform to Boylan's narrative of "Look how happy and NORMAL we are," even if that's not what her parents intended. It's a touching moment, the two of them speaking as trans adults with different perspectives. And one can see that, yes, Boylan struggles throughout her essays, even still, to not feel shame for who she is. I imagine it's a hard feeling to shake once it takes root, even knowing that it's irrational.<br><br>Boylan's examinations of being on "both sides" of the gender spectrum aren't quite as fleshed out as the subtitle of the book suggests. She mainly thinks about the trans experience in terms of being a woman —which is fine, that's who she is— but if you were hoping for more insight on the varied ways one can know and express their gender, this isn't the book. Still, it's an interesting collection of essays, and I would guess that previous fans of her work will find something of value here.</div><div><br></div>

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Published 2026-08-18 21:03 UTC · bridged from Atmosphere